It's been a while since I have written in this blog--partially because lazy, but mostly because I have been going through a lot of changes this past year. One of the biggest thing that has changed for me is acceptance.
When I first started this blog I was extremely angry, scared, upset, and all of the other maladjusted adjectives in the book. I feared for the future. For me, cancer felt a little bit like going to a very long war with an invisible enemy, not knowing anything about the terrain or what would be required to defeat the enemy. It was terrifying. There was a lot of fear in me, and as Yoda so eloquently put it, 'fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, and hate leads to suffering'. I was going through a lot of suffering. I couldn't deal with it all at once.
Today, I have moments where I suffer. I'm not out of the woods yet, but I can see a future. I have been through some of the toughest things I will face in my life, and I am ready to write about it with a clearer head. I want to be able to help others in my situation. At first, this was a blog to lament and get my feelings and frustrations out, almost like a journal. Now, I want to tell my story and hopefully help others in my position. I am going to try to do a lot less whining and a lot more helping.
Stay tuned...
